There and Back Again
by grumpyheroine
Summary: "There I was, minding my own business. I blame everything that happened on Lex Luthor. He was better off as a villain." Lois, Lex, Oliver and Kara get pulled into a strange fantastic-sci-fi alternate universe, where a dark Lord rules. You would think that's the least of their problems, considering how important it is for them to get back, but when they find out he's going to...
1. Prologue

**The origin of this story actually started kind of funny. The "There I was, minding my own business" opening was sort of a challenge from someone I know, so I gave it a try, and I've wanted to do a story in first person for a while now.**

**So either way, I hope you like random groups as much as I do, because Lois, Lex, Oliver and Kara are about to be go on one crazy ride...**

**And yes, I know I stole the title for the story from the Hobbit. I really couldn't think of anything good, though. Hmm, maybe that's how you tell if it's a good story... I'll probably change the title when I think of something better. Remember, this is a work in progress. :)**

**PROLOGUE:**

There I was, minding my own business.

It was pouring rain, and I was driving down a deserted highway outside of Smallville. It was hard to see through the windshield, as it was the middle of the night, not to mention the horrible storm, and I think one of the lights in my car wasn't working. All this combined, you can imagine I was having trouble just keeping the car on the road.

My radio was supposed to be blasting music from a Whitesnake CD, but the stereo had stopped working about a half-hour back.

I was minding my own business. I swear. I know, most people who know me probably wouldn't believe that, but this time, I really was. I blame everything that happened on Lex Luthor. He was better off as a villain.

Because it was HIS car that came flying out of nowhere. You heard me. Flying. Literally _flying_ out of nowhere.

I slammed my foot on the breaks, cursing loudly, but the road was wet and slippery, and I didn't really have time to think about what was happening. I saw Lex's face in the front seat of his car, before the two vehicles hit each other.

I screamed.

* * *

_Twelve Hours Earlier..._

Okay, I should probably explain. My name is Lois Lane. I'm a reporter. I currently live in Metropolis, but also kind of part-time on a farm in a town out in the middle of nowhere in Kansas called Smallville. It's known as the Meteor Capital of the world. It's also the home of all the weirdest events in history, and I'm not kidding. My fiancee was probably had a lot to do with that...

But you already know all this already, don't you?

Well, I bet you've never heard this particular story. Even by Smallville standards, it's pretty weird. And that's saying a lot.

It starts on a rainy Tuesday afternoon in Metropolis. I was sitting at my desk, eating a giant burrito with watery guacamole and too much (overripe) vegetables and not enough cheese. And don't even start lecturing me on my eating habits. I've heard it all before.

I work for the Daily Planet, which is without a doubt (in my opinion) Metropolis's most respected newspaper. I had just gotten a promotion recently, and was still settling into my new office, which is why it was a mess. It has nothing to do with me being a generally messy person.

Really.

But anyway, back to the story. I was writing up an article, eating the off-flavor burrito, and listening to the patter of the rain hitting the windows.

I was having trouble focusing. At the time, I really had no idea why, but thinking back, it was probably my reporter instincts kicking in. I sensed something big was coming, I just didn't realize it yet.

I picked up my coffee cup, taking a swig, but made a face when I realized it was cold. Damn. Too bad Clark wasn't here to super-breathe it back to hot. I set the no-good coffee back down on the desk, dumped the rest of the burrito in the garbage, because I was afraid I'd get food-poisoning from it, and turned back to my article.

"Ms. Lane," said a voice.

I jumped, knocking a stack of papers and my coffee cup off my desk, and fell off my chair. Don't laugh. Let's see how you react to a voice when you think you're alone in a room.

After picking myself up off the floor, and trying to get as much coffee off my shirt as possible, I looked to see who my visitor was.

"Geez, ever hear of knocking, buster? Or even announcing you're here instead of sneaking up on someone?" I snapped, glaring up at him, and froze. "Lex Luthor?"

"Hello," he said, smiling. Well, it seemed more of a combination of a smirk and a sneer to me. I glared at him. Just in that one hello I could hear the mocking in it. Anger bubbled in my stomach, and even more so that Lex seemed perfectly calm. So, I put on a neutral expression, and stared him in the eye.

"What do you want?" I said.

"Still as rude as ever," Lex said. "Haven't you ever learned proper etiquette, Ms. Lane?"

"Can it, baldy. What are you doing in my office?" I retorted. He looked around.

"Is there anywhere I can sit?" he said.

"No."

"Ah."

I crossed my arms, waiting for him to make the first move. He raised an eyebrow, before finally speaking.

"I need you to write an article for me."

"Hmm," I replied in an uninterested tone. "And why, good sir, would you be asking _me_ of all people?"

"We all know you're a good reporter," Lex said.

I grinned. I'd wanted to hear him say that. "Oh, really? So I guess calling me a muffin-peddling college dropout didn't work for you?"

"That was a long time ago," he said. "And beside the point. This could be a great story for you, Ms. Lane."

"Uh huh," I replied, and started typing on my computer again. Yeah right, Luthor, like I'd be doing anything for you any time soon.

He put an envelope on the desk. "It would be worth it."

I opened the envelope, and forgot about hiding my growing temper. "Money? You think you can BRIBE ME?" I said, my voice rising in octaves and volume with each word.

Lex didn't even flinch. "That's only a bonus for your services."

"My _services_?!"

I was preparing to start throwing things at him, famous billionaire or not. I yanked out the bills, crumpled them up (okay, I admit I was a teensy bit sad to waste so much money), and tossed them in the trash can.

"That's my opinion of you and your money," I said angrily.

Damn it, the bastard still didn't budge, expression included.

"You do realize, you haven't even heard what I want you to write."

"Some sort of lie, no doubt," I said grumpily, dropping into my chair.

"I was actually working on a drug to help autistic children," said Lex quietly.

"And I'm supposed to believe that?"

"You're not supposed to believe anything," Lex said. "It's by choice. I'm asking you to trust me."

I snorted. "When pigs fly, I'll consider your offer."

Lex smiled dryly. "That can be arranged," he said.

"Ha ha," I said sarcastically.

He nodded. "I see you won't be changing your mind anytime soon," he said.

"Took you long enough to figure that out," I muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing," I smiled at him, though I think we both knew it was a fake smile. I'm really good at doing those. Finally, he left, and I turned back to my article, but couldn't focus any more. I sighed, shoving a bunch of papers in a drawer, and decided to get a cup of coffee.

The rest of the afternoon was no fun, to say the least. I worked on a few more articles at the planet, but none of them seemed to go anywhere, and I fell asleep in the middle of typing them. Jimmy woke me up about a half hour later, and had brought me a cup of coffee. That helped a little.

Until I spilled it all over my keyboard, destroying it in the process.

Ugh!

Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to crawl into a hole and stay there for all eternity until everything goes away? Because today was probably one of those days.

I feel kind of bad now, because I think I took out a lot of my crankiness (the meeting with Lex had really done a number on me) on Jimmy and a new intern kid. He ran away crying. Great. Now I'm a horrible person!

Jimmy just got another cup of coffee for me and said Perry wanted me to take the rest of the day off. I disagreed, and broke a heel on the way back to my office, and decided maybe I _could_ use a day off. Clark was in a different galaxy at the moment, playing ambassador for some issue or another, and maybe I was missing him more than I realized.

As I headed towards my car, the rain started up again, and I was very wet by the time I reached the door and climbed in. I headed back to my apartment. About an hour later, I was on the couch in sweats and a hoodie, drinking another cup of coffee and eating ice cream while I surfed through channels on the TV, looking for something interesting.

And this is about where the weirdness _really_ starts.

The storm was at its worst, the wind was _howling_. I didn't really mind, I was comfortable in the apartment with the heater on, and a knitted afghan keeping me warm. The only thing missing was a certain plaid-wearing farm-boy...

But then, the phone rang.

I really wish I hadn't answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Lois? It's Kara."

"Kara? Hey, what's up?" I said, surprised. We hadn't heard from Clark's cousin for a while. Last I heard, she was travelling the universe looking for the lost city of Argo or something like that. I know, I know, I should keep up better with what's going on. Sue me.

"Lois, can you, um, come out to the farm?" Kara asked.

"Now?" I asked. I glanced at the window. "Why, is something wrong?"

"I'm not sure, but there's something going on, and I need your help. Please."

I wasn't really sure how to react to that. It was pouring outside. The roads were probably really dangerous this time, and it was a long ride to Smallville. But if it was an emergency, I certainly couldn't leave Kara alone.

"Alright, I'm on my way," I sighed.

I wish I wasn't such an idiot. If my brain had been functioning properly at the time, it might have suggested Kara superspeed or fly out here, and if she needed me _on the farm_, could superspeed or fly us both back.

But no, instead of my brain functioning properly, I got dressed, put on a coat, grabbed my car keys, and drove to Smallville.

And there I was, minding my own business. Okay, so maybe I wasn't _completely,_ but it wasn't like I was nosing around and looking for a story. I was going to help someone. That was a good reason to be out, wasn't it? I didn't deserve this.

It was pouring rain, and I was driving down a deserted highway outside of Smallville. It was hard to see through the windshield, as it was the middle of the night, not to mention the horrible storm, and I think one of the lights on my car wasn't working. All this combined, you can imagine I was having trouble just keeping the car on the road.

My radio was supposed to be blasting music from a Whitesnake CD, but the stereo had stopped working about a half-hour back. That didn't help my mood, and I wished I could be back home curled up on the couch drinking coffee and watching TV. But I was coming to help Kara. The things you do for family. Or, well, family to be.

I was minding my own business. I swear. I know, most people who know me probably wouldn't believe that, but this time, I really was. Sort of.

I blame everything that happened on Lex Luthor. He was better off as a villain, and no good trying to be a good guy. I'm not prejudiced, I'm really not. He called me a muffin-peddling college dropout a long time ago, and I had no reason to hold a grudge up till now.

And I'm one of the best reporters now, so how do you like _that_, Mr. Luthor?

But I still blame Lex for what happened next.

Because it was HIS car that came flying out of nowhere.

You heard me.

Flying.

Literally _flying_ out of nowhere.

I slammed my foot on the breaks, cursing loudly, but the road was wet and slippery, and I didn't really have time to think about what was happening. I saw Lex's face in the front seat of his car, before the two vehicles hit each other.

I screamed.

And everything went still...

_To be Continued..._

**Hmm. So, I gave up on my mystery. I couldn't get it going. It just wasn't coming to me. So I have this instead. It's a little more my style. More humorous. Focuses more on the characters and less on the plotline.**

**Anyway, review, of course, because otherwise you'll all be on a cliffhanger for a while... :D**


	2. Chapter 1

**Next chapter... woohoo! **

**I don't really have anything random to say about this, except that I'm having a bit of trouble getting Kara right, so don't shoot me. I do, however, want to address some of the comments I received.**

**JamesTKent: Huh. I have no idea where I'm going with this either... I guess we'll all be finding out together as I write it. :D**

**mjf2468: Lois's voice? Why thank you. This has to be the easiest character in first person I've ever done. **

**CHAPTER ONE: LOIS**

The first thing that I was aware of was the horrible headache. The last time my head hurt this bad was probably my last hangover, but it had been a while since I drank that much. Unless I did it again last night.

My mouth felt like sandpaper, my throat was dry and sore. And that wasn't the worst of the pains. My whole body was stiff and hurting. I groaned. "Urgh..."

"Ollie, she's awake," came a familiar voice that I wasn't conscious enough to identify yet.

I forced my eyes open, even though my eyelids seemed to very much disapprove of the idea, and when I finally managed to open them, everything was blurry. Two figures stood looking down at me.

"What's going on?" I mumbled, but the words were slurred together and I think it sounded more like "arrst grrsoos arrgh."

"Nah, she's still out," a voice I recognized as Oliver Queen's said. "She just talks in her sleep."

That got me more awake. "No I don't," I said, forcing the words out clearer, though just barely, and not loud enough or irritated enough sounding as I would have liked.

"And how would you know that, Legs? Ever hear yourself sleep?"

Yep, definitely Ollie.

I ignored the jab, and struggled to sit up, fighting off a wave of nausea. "What happened? Where are we?"

A pair of hands gently took my shoulders and pushed me back onto the pillows. I couldn't seem to find enough energy to fight back. I gingerly reached up, rubbing my forehead, and discovered a bandage. My head throbbed when I touched it.

"Stay down," Oliver said. "You got pretty banged up."

"Pretty banged up? How-oh..." and everything came rushing back. I crashed into Lex Luthor's car. Well, I think we both kind of crashed into each other... "Where's Lex? I'm going to kill him!"

"I don't know if he'd appreciate that, considering he just got back from death's door," Oliver replied.

"Well, he should have gone through while he had the chance," I grumbled, and started to get up again.

"You might want to rest just a little more before chasing Lex with the torch and pitchfork, Lo," Oliver said. My vision cleared, and I saw the other person in the room was Kara Kent.

"Sorry, did I miss your crisis?" I said in a dry tone.

Kara reddened slightly.

"Wait, what the hell are you two wearing?"

I started laughing. The outfits were so ridiculous. They looked like they'd just come out of Star Wars or something. Oliver had a green tunic-like thing, sort of sleek looking, his leggings looked like a combination of leather and some sort of metal. His boots were knee-length, and I almost expected him to have a lightsaber hanging from his belt. Did he redesign his Green Arrow costume or something?

Kara was similarly dressed, though perhaps her outfit was a little more feminine and differently colored. And she had a cloak, the hood down.

"Er, yes, you've been out for a while, Lois. A lot happened," Oliver explained.

I blinked, realization dawning on me. "You're having a costume party," I stated. "Without me? How could you!"

Kara and Oliver stared at me, and both burst out laughing. "Oh yeah, I'm hilarious," I said sarcastically. "I can't believe you'd do that to me! ...And now you're laughing to my face!" Before I could yell at them any more, there was a knock on the door, and it opened. A woman stepped inside. She was dressed in the same style as Ollie and Kara.

"I see you're awake," she said to me. I nodded.

"Yeah. Now what's going on? Where are we? This looks like some sort of spaceship medical bay."

"It's not," Kara said. "We got off the spaceship an hour ago." She said in it a tone that seemed to indicate I should have known that. Of course I should have. Silly me.

"That does it," I said, feeling myself snap at her tone. "This is the worst prank ever. I'm out of here." I climbed up out of the bed. I was wobbly on my feet for a moment, but I recovered, though I still felt a little dizzy.

"Wait," Oliver said, grabbing my arm as I lost balance.

"What?" I said. "I don't find any of this funny."

"There's one little detail you might want to know, though," Oliver said.

"And what would that be?" I asked, maybe a little harsher than necessary.

Oliver stared me in the eye, unafraid. It's really a shame he's one of those people who's NOT scared of me...

"We're in a different world," he said. "Some sort of parallel dimension or something."

"Like the one with Clark Luthor?" I asked, frowning.

"It's a little more different. Think... Star Trek and Lord of the Rings together," Oliver said. "And I don't think we're on earth."

"Are you serious?" I asked. Oliver nodded.

I narrowed my eyes, waiting for him to laugh and say "Gotcha!" but he didn't.

"That's a little far-fetched... even for you," I said.

Oliver didn't say anything. I raised an eyebrow.

"Alright, fine. Say I believed you. How did we get here?"

"That's a long story," Oliver answered.

"We don't really have time for it now," said the woman I didn't know yet.

"Oh, by the way, this is Katherine."

"Hello," I said in a monotone.

Katherine smiled kindly. "You're looking much better than when they brought you in," she said.

"Um... thanks?" I said. She held out a bundle.

"I thought you would like some clothes. The strange garb you all arrived in would stand out a bit here."

"No kidding," I mumbled, taking the strange clothing from her.

"I'll let you get changed," Ollie said. "I have to go help around a bit." He left with Katherine, leaving me alone with Kara.

"Okay, start talking," I said. "I want to know how I got here."

"Like Ollie said, it's a long story..." Kara started.

"Well, yes, I already knew that," I snapped. "We have time. Or give me the Cliff notes version."

"Cliff notes?" Kara looked confused.

"It's a culture thing," I explained, pulling on the strange leggings. "Cliff notes are... oh, forget it. I meant give me the short version." The shirt was a dark maroon, and there was a black tunic which seemed a bit like some sort of light leather armor. As I fumbled with it, trying to get it over my head, Kara tried to explain what was going on.

"Well, Ollie was here when I called you," Kara said.

"Why did you call me anyway?" I asked.

Kara blushed. "Um... it's actually not important right now."

"It was important enough at the time that I risked my life to drive all the way to Smallville in a storm," I said.

Kara just looked a little annoyed. "If you have to comment on every sentence I say, forget it," she said.

"Fine, fine, I'll be quiet," I said.

"No you won't," Kara muttered.

"I heard that!"

Kara raised an eyebrow.

"I'll _try _ to be quiet?"

Kara sighed. "Okay," she said. "So I called you..."

I opened my mouth, but quickly closed it.

Kara grinned, obviously pleased with my attempt to shut up long enough to listen. "And you said you'd come. Oliver was there at the time-"

"Oliver? What was he doing there?" I blurted out. Oops. I was supposed to be listening...

"That's a long story-and none of your business what he was doing there," Kara said.

I picked up the last article of clothing, which was a cape. I liked capes... Especially on Superman. The way it would flow in the wind when he was flying, and he would look all heroic and... focus, Lois. I almost slapped myself to snap out of it, but decided against the idea. My head was still sore.

Kara grinned. "Thinking of my cousin?"

"What? No..."

"Oh come on, he gets that same silly smile when he's thinking of you. It's so obvious," Kara said. "And sweet."

I put the cape on, deciding there was no reason to burst Kara's bubble when she seemed to like me and Clark together.

"Come on," Kara said. "I'll tell you more as we walk. Sounds like they could use an extra hand outside."

I didn't hear anything. But then again, I wasn't an all-powerful Kryptonian with super-hearing and all that. (Yes, said sarcastically and irritably. It's really not a nice feeling, being so normal in a world full of superheroes. Especially when you get kidnapped weekly...)

"After you," I said, gesturing to the door, which was made of steel without a doorknob. Kara pressed a little box on the wall next to the door, and it slid open, leading into a high-tech-y hallway, bustling with people. I had a bit of trouble following Kara through the crowd, and feeling a little dizzy when I walked too fast wasn't helping. But somehow, I managed to catch up to the Kryptonian just as she was stepping into an elevator. I ran (fine, more like fell) ungracefully between the doors just before they closed.

"Floor twelve," Kara said, either oblivious of or ignoring me trying to catch my breath.

"Where are we going?" I asked. "And where can you get some food around here? I'm starving..." my stomach rumbled loudly, as if to confirm my statement.

"We can get something later," Kara said.

I wanted to argue. Later? How long would it be until _later? _But I didn't, because I had a feeling there might be more important things going on.

You all have probably heard of that funny unsaid rule between humans where no one speaks in an elevator. Well, me and big mouth were an exception to that too, and I had too many questions, I wasn't going to wait until we reached our destination. You've also probably already figured out by now that I'm not really a patient person.

So I bugged Kara, trying to get her to tell me what was going on, and how we got here. She managed to evade my questions quite well though, and finally, the doors open and she led me out. Quiet. Soldier-like.

_Soldier-like... _I blinked. Damn. How hadn't I realized it before?

Of course... We're in an army base. I didn't have a chance to reflect on how it was just my_ rotten_ luck to end up at yet another army base after spending most of my childhood at them, and how I really didn't want to have anything to do with the army yada yada yada, because the room we stepped into took my breath away.

It was a huge cavern, illuminated by glowing fungi of some kind on the walls and ceilings, casting an eerie and dim but yet still beautiful light over the cavern. My boots thudded softly on the stone floor, which was a strange, grey-bluish stone, oddly smooth, which looked like it was polished. Was it? For some reason, I didn't think it was.

The place was full of people like the hall we'd left, and I could hear the sounds of rushing water nearby. It brought to mind how dry my throat and mouth felt. When was the last time I'd drank something?

Kara was making her way across the cavern with ease, and paused, turning around and gesturing for me to follow. That's when something occurred to me. Kara seemed too familiar with this place. She knew her way around really well. Had she been here before? Or had we just been here that long.

"You seem to know your way around," I said, deciding to see what Kara' answer would be if I pointed it out.

"Well, we've been here long enough to-"

"Long enough? How long have we been here for?"

Kara looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Kara," I said. "Tell me. _How long have I been unconscious?_"

She looked a little uncomfortable, hesitating for a moment. She took a deep breath, and looked right at me. "Two weeks."

_To be Continued..._

**This feels oddly like a filler chapter, and nothing really happens here. Phooey. And it started off so promisingly. Well, the next chapter, everything will be explained, and it might be from someone else's point of view so you get the inside scoop of how they ended up there. (Inside scoop? I think I've been hanging out with reporters too much on here...)**

**Anyway, please review, and stay tuned for the next chapter.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter two, from Oliver's point of view... I'll probably switch off once in a while from character's points of view. **

**CHAPTER TWO: OLIVER**

This is Oliver Queen. Lois was actually writing up this story (madly typing away on her computer, Clark looking over her shoulder correcting her spelling), but I thought maybe you could get a more detailed insider on how we ended up in Illumir, as Lois was out of action for a bit.

So, let's see, where to start... oh, I know.

I was at the Kent Farm with Kara when she called Lois. I was in the bathroom, though, and when I came back into the living room, Kara was just finishing up on the phone.

"Who was that?" I asked, lifting a bottle of beer and taking a swig.

Kara shrugged. "Lois."

"Lois? What's she up to? Please don't tell me she went to chase another story. With Clark away, guess who has to babysit her when she goes on her crazy story leads?"

Kara grinned. "Don't worry, Ollie, I just asked her to come out to the farm."

"In this weather? In a storm like this, with her luck, she's a walking lightning-rod. Call her back, would you?"

Kara looked a little deflated. "But I need her help for..."

"I know," I said. "It's going to have to wait. I know it's a bit of an emergency, but you know Lois, I'm worried she won't make it here in one piece."

"I'll call her," Kara sighed. She took out her cellphone, dialing. She frowned. "It's making funny noises."

I plucked the phone from her hand, studying it for a moment. "The storm's interfering with the signal." The crackling continued, so I turned it off.

"Couldn't you have supersped her here? The roads are really dangerous."

"Superspeed! Why didn't I think of that before?"

"We should probably go out and find her. Let me-"

There was a flash, and we were standing out in the rain on the main highway from Smallville. "-Get my coat..." I finished.

"Oh." There was another breeze, and Kara was holding out my coat for me. I chuckled, putting it on and pulling the hood up.

We looked around. Kara closed her eyes, probably listening through the storm, and then opened her eyes, looking a little worried. She grabbed my arm and supersped to a place. Through the pouring rain, I could make out Lois's car.

"Think you can get her attention without destroying her car?"

"Another car's approaching," Kara said.

"Where?" I looked around, and spotted headlights coming towards us through the cornfield. It shot right out onto the road, in front of Lois's car.

"KARA!" I yelled, sprinting towards the two vehicles. Of course, I wasn't fast enough. But maybe Kara was. I saw her disappear in a blur. Then, everything seemed to be slow motion to me. Lois was in her car, bracing herself for impact. I could make out Lex Luthor's form in the other vehicle, and he had a manic grin on his face. Kara got between the two vehicles, ready to stop them.

But that's when everything took a turn for the worst. Something green flashed on the ground. _Glowing_ green. I took off toward the group, hoping I'd be there fast enough to help, though obviously that wouldn't happen. Kara tripped, falling forward, clutching her stomach and looking like she was about to throw up. I could almost see the lightning shooting down from the sky, hitting Lois's car, shooting into the Kryptonite, and into Lex's car. There was a huge blast, and a flash of light. I felt myself being thrown backward, and heard a scream. It might have been me.

The white life engulfed me and the whole area around the Kryptonite. Stars sprang into my vision.

* * *

"Ollie, wake up."

Kara was shaking me. I groaned, and opened my eyes, looking around. I was lying on the ground, which didn't feel like a cornfield. Or any field. It was more like very hard rock. I stood up, dusting myself off.

"What happened?"

"I don't know," Kara replied. She looked pale. I glanced over her shoulder.

"Lois!" I said, horrified, and ran towards the two wrecked cars. Lois was slumped forward in her seat, a huge gash in her forehead, her head twisted at an odd angle, and don't even get me started on her right arm. It _definitely_ shouldn't be bending in that direction. There was a lot of blood. Kara came up behind me, and yanked the door of the car off, then ripped the seatbelt off Lois and carefully pulled her out.

Lois moaned slightly, and mumbled something about bunnies and strawberries, but was otherwise limp in Kara's arms.

"Is she okay?" Kara asked, looking scared.

"I don't know. Can you, um, x-ray her?"

Kara nodded, and looked at Lois. Her tongue poked out of her mouth slightly, probably from trying to focus and not blast Lois with heat vision instead of just checking her heartbeat and skeleton.

"Her arm's broken, and also a bunch of ribs," Kara said, looking up. "What do we do?"

I looked around. "I don't think we can call 911," I said. Kara looked around as well, taking in our surroundings. "Toto, it doesn't look like we're in Kansas anymore."

The land was black and barren, mostly made up of gloomy looking rock, and the sky was red. I looked at Kara. "How do you have your powers if we're not under a yellow sun?" I asked.

Kara shrugged. "It's in my DNA. I'm just not as powerful off of earth."

"_Is_ this even earth?" I wondered. Kara walked over to the other car, and pulled out Lex Luthor.

"Look who crashed into Lois," she said, carefully dragging the groaning billionaire over to me.

"No surprise there," I said. "Did you hear the way she was badmouthing him at that conference the other day?"

Kara nodded. "You think it was on purpose?" and checked Lex over. Her face paled. "He-he's not breathing," she said. "I think he has some sort of drug in his system."

I knelt down, checking Lex's pulse and breathing. Neither were working.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," I muttered, and started to give Lex Luthor CPR. I guess I still felt a little guilty for killing him. And no, don't ask how he's alive if I killed him. It's a long story. This is Lois's tale, and I don't think she'll want me putting in my whole story on blowing up Lex and his shocking return.

I can't say I was exactly relieved when Lex started breathing again. I pulled out my cellphone, hoping maybe I'd get lucky. But I didn't. There was no reception, so I stuck the useless object back into my pocket.

Kara was building a makeshift stretcher out of the stuff in the car, and set Lois on it. Then she built another one for Lex.

"I'm not dragging Luthor around with us," I said bitterly.

"He'll die if we leave him here," said Kara. "And..." she looked at Lex with an odd expression on her face. I decided not to think about it. Right now, I was only interested in getting Lois to a hospital or something. If Kara wanted to bring Lex, that was her choice. The only question was, where do we go? Actually, that wasn't the only question. Another, possibly more appropriate question, WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?!

I bent down, and started to drag Lois's stretcher across the rocky terrain. Hopefully it wasn't too bumpy. It probably was, as with almost every step she let out a small whimper. I stopped after a few feet. wondering if there was another way to do this without hurting her.

Kara had completely lifted Lex, and was following me, her feet floating a few inches above the ground. I looked back at them. "Can you help me Lois?" I asked. She looked thoughtful for a moment, probably trying to think of a way to carry two body without hurting them.

I lifted up one edge of Lois's "stretcher", and Kara took the other, and we started off again across the terrain. The weather was uncomfortably cold, and I was glad I'd had Kara bring me my coat. I glanced at Lois.

Man, why do I have to be such a nice sometimes? I pulled off my coat, covering Lois with it to keep her warm. Her face was pale. Lex wasn't looking too good either, but I still REALLY didn't like that guy, so I'm afraid I didn't really care.

Me and Kara were about to start walking, though leaving the cars behind might not be the brightest idea, when I heard the sound of what I could only describe as an object powering up. I glanced towards the sound, and was looking right into the barrel of a large blaster.

"Don't move!" the owner of the blaster ordered. She didn't have to tell me twice. "Put those people down and put your hands up-slowly!"

Me and Kara both obeyed. "Who are you?" I asked.

"I think you should answer that first," the woman said. She was very tall. And I mean _tall_. Amazonian warrior tall. Tall, and athletic, bordering on very muscular. Her head was shaved, which I found to be a bit of an odd hairstyle on a woman, and she was dressed in some sort of high-tech medieval style armor. Behind her were several other people, both men and women, all similarly dressed and armed.

"I'm afraid I can't answer that question, because I don't know who you are. See, that's why I asked." I probably shouldn't have said that. The woman glowered at me.

"Would you like to be blasted to the next planet?" she said coldly.

I decided another smart-ass reply wasn't a good idea. "My name is Oliver Queen. We're not really sure how we got here, but those two need immediate medical attention." I gestured to Lex and Lois.

She leaned forward and had a conversation in hushed tones with a brute of a man.

"What are they saying?" I whispered to Kara.

"Um... they're discussing whether we're soldiers of the empire or not," Kara replied in an equally low voice.

"Soldiers of the empire?"

"Some man named Rimar runs it, and they're afraid they've had spies lately," Kara murmured. She paused, listening again. "Sounds like they might give us a chance considering how clueless we are, and our weird clothes."

The two continued to talk, and Kara continued to tune in with super-hearing, but didn't say anything. Finally, they turned back to us.

"Are you armed?" the woman asked.

I hesitated, before pulling out the crossbow that turned into my bow. The woman took my pride and joy, studying it carefully. "This is your weapon? This is harmless junk."

I stared at her, open-mouthed. Kara looked like she was trying to decide whether to laugh or worry about what danger we'd get into from my reaction. I took a deep breath. "That's the best weapon I have, so you shouldn't have to worry."

The woman looked at the large man again. "Come. You will follow us."

A bunch of the people took Lois and Lex, and we were led towards a large lump of rock, which turned out to be their ship. They led us up, into it.

"You're prisoners for now," the woman informed us. "Your companions will be tended to." Me and Kara were locked in a room, and I couldn't help but feel worried about Lois (still not caring for Lex here).

We were brought odd looking clothes to wear, because ours were pretty tattered from the explosion that brought us here. We turned away to change, respecting each other's privacy, then tried to figure out exactly what had happened.

According to the guard, we were on a planet called Illumir, but he wouldn't tell us much else, so we were left in the dark (metaphorically speaking. There was a light in the room). They wouldn't even tell us how Lois and Lex were. We were brought food after a few hours, but were otherwise left alone.

About here it's mostly nothing. Me and Kara didn't get much information, and we were held here for about a week, or so we were told. We were treated well, I guess, but I was a little worried.

From what I could gather, we were waiting for a patrol to return from something before they'd take us back to the main city. They let us train, but the people were... distant. It was hard to get much out of them.

We took a ship to the capital city, which is about the day Lois woke up. Lex was still out, and not doing well. I'd have to find out what kind of drugs he was taking when came to. They were sure working hard on him.

* * *

I stepped off the ship. Finally, the light of day... well, this planet. The light was red here. I looked at Kara, who seemed unaffected. I thought Kryptonians only got their powers from the yellow sun. This one looked very red to me. But maybe it was just something in the air.

We were led to see Lois, which was a relief, and she was oddly almost completely healed. "Future technology?"

"Not earth tech," Kara corrected me while the doctor looked at me in confusion. I wondered why it wasn't working on Lex though. Apparently it had to do with his interesting drug. Again.

Lois groaned beside me, and mumbled something unintelligible.

"Ollie, she's awake," said Kara.

_To be continued..._

**The ending was a bit rushed, it was just getting too long, and I didn't really want Lois and Lex to miss TOO much. I probably shouldn't have made two weeks... it was my desire to be dramatic. *sigh***

**Anyway, review, review, review! It makes my day, and motivates me to write more. Next chapter, we'll finally get to figure out what's going on. And Lois might even shoot somebody. You never know, right?**


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